Thanksgiving Stress: How It Impacts Neurodivergent Couples and How Therapy Can Help

Jamie Bellinger, LMFTA
2 days ago
5 min read

Elderly couple presenting roast turkey at a festive family dinner. Smiling faces, cozy kitchen, brick walls, and a set table with drinks.

Thanksgiving is often painted as a warm and joyful holiday. We imagine big meals, family time, and traditions that bring people together. But for many couples—especially neurodivergent couples—Thanksgiving can also bring a lot of stress. The travel, the noise, the expectations, and the sudden changes in routine can make the holiday feel overwhelming instead of relaxing.

In this blog, we’ll explore why Thanksgiving can be hard for neurodivergent couples, how stress shows up in relationships, and how neurodivergent couples therapy can support partners during the holiday season.

Why Thanksgiving Can Be Extra Stressful

Thanksgiving brings several challenges that hit differently for neurodivergent individuals and couples:

1. Changes in Routine

Many neurodivergent people rely on routine to feel safe and grounded. Thanksgiving often brings last-minute plans, travel schedules, and unexpected events. Even small changes can lead to anxiety, irritation, or shutdowns.

2. Sensory Overload

Thanksgiving gatherings are full of noise, smells, crowded spaces, and long conversations. This can quickly become overwhelming for people who experience sensory sensitivities.

3. Social Pressure

Family events can be emotionally draining—especially when relatives don’t understand neurodivergence. Comments about behavior, communication styles, or “not participating enough” can create tension or shame.

4. Masking Fatigue

Trying to “act normal,” fit in, or avoid conflict can be exhausting. Masking for long periods may leave someone feeling burnt out, disconnected, or irritable with their partner afterward.

How Stress Shows Up in Neurodivergent Relationships

Every couple experiences stress, but neurodivergent couples may face added layers of misunderstanding. Thanksgiving can amplify these challenges.

Miscommunication

One partner may need quiet time, while the other wants to socialize more. Without clear communication, both may feel judged or rejected.

Emotional Overload

Heightened stress can lead to emotional shutdowns, meltdowns, or conflict. Partners might misinterpret these reactions as personal attacks when they’re actually signs of overwhelm.

Different Needs

One partner may need structure. The other may crave flexibility. One may enjoy hosting; the other may dread it. When couples don’t talk about these needs ahead of time, the holiday can feel chaotic.

Hands slicing a pumpkin pie on a wooden table with autumn leaves, drinks, an apple, and bread. Cozy and festive atmosphere.

How Neurodivergent Couples Therapy Can Help

Neurodivergent couples therapy gives partners tools to understand each other better and handle holiday stress as a team. Here’s how it can help during Thanksgiving:

1. Better Communication

A therapist helps couples express needs clearly and kindly. This includes talking about sensory limits, social expectations, and emotional boundaries before the holiday begins.

2. Holiday Planning Strategies

Therapy gives couples a chance to make a plan—like choosing signals for “I need a break,” agreeing on how long to stay at events, or creating a recovery day after gatherings.

3. Breaking Out of Shame

Neurodivergent couples often feel judged or misunderstood by family members. Therapy helps partners move away from shame and toward self-acceptance and connection.

4. Supporting Each Other’s Nervous Systems

Therapists help couples understand how their brains work differently. With this knowledge, partners can comfort each other during stressful moments instead of getting stuck in conflict.

Tips for Neurodivergent Couples This Thanksgiving

Here are simple, helpful things you can do to make the holiday easier:

Create a Shared Plan

Talk ahead of time about expectations, needs, and boundaries. Decide how long you’ll stay at gatherings and what you’ll do if things get overwhelming.

Choose a Signal

Use a hand gesture or code word to say “I need a break” without drawing attention.

Schedule Alone Time

Plan quiet moments before and after social events. Rest helps prevent burnout.

Set Kind Boundaries

It’s okay to say no to events, conversations, or traditions that feel harmful or draining.

Support Each Other

Remember: you and your partner are on the same team. Look for moments to offer reassurance, compassion, and grounding.

When to Seek Support

If Thanksgiving brings the same arguments every year…

If you feel misunderstood or unsupported…

Or if you want to build stronger communication skills as a couple…

That’s a sign that neurodivergent couples therapy can help.

Therapy gives couples a safe, nonjudgmental space to understand each other’s brains, communicate needs, and build a holiday season that supports both partners—not just what others expect.

Final Thoughts

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With preparation, understanding, and the right support, neurodivergent couples can face the holiday season with more confidence and connection. Neurodivergent couples therapy offers tools to reduce stress, improve communication, and help partners show up for each other in meaningful ways.

If you and your partner want support navigating the holidays—or strengthening your relationship year-round—you don’t have to do it alone. Help is available, and growth is always possible.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This on Your Own

Every relationship has unique gifts. When neurodivergence is part of the picture, those strengths often look like:

Imagination
Playfulness
High energy
Strong emotional awareness

With the right guidance, couples can transform everyday struggles into opportunities for closeness and understanding.

At the Neurodiversity Center of Katy, we support couples in creating a partnership where both individuals feel acknowledged, respected, and emotionally secure.

Thinking About Getting Support?

If you and your partner want to improve communication, ease conflict, and reconnect, therapy can be a powerful next step.

We’re here to help you move forward.

👉 Learn more at: neurodiversitycenterofkaty.com

👉 Email us anytime: info@neurodiversitycenterofkaty.com

You’re worthy of a relationship where both partners feel truly understood.

Therapy Services Available at The Neurodiversity Center of Katy

At the Neurodiversity Center of Katy, we offer a variety of services tailored for everyone. Our offerings encompass:

About The Author

Smiling woman with long hair sits on a blue chair, reading a book. A guitar, plant, and lamp are in the cozy room with wooden floor.

Hi, I'm Jamie! Born and raised in Houston, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate (LMFT-A) with more than a decade of experience walking alongside individuals, couples, and families as they explore the vibrant landscape of neurodiversity. My therapeutic approach is rooted in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Narrative Therapy - two models that honor the power of story, emotion, and connection in creating meaningful change.

I specialize in working with queer, BIPOC, and other marginalized communities, offering a compassionate and affirming space where clients can feel seen, celebrated, and supported. I believe therapy should be collaborative and empowering - helping people move from disconnection and self-doubt toward confidence, understanding, and deeper connection with themselves and others.

When I’m not in session, you’ll likely find me in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes, hiking with my rescue dogs, or camping somewhere under a moonlit sky. Nature and creativity keep me grounded, and I love helping clients discover their own sense of peace and spirituality in whatever form that may take.